COVID-19 Update

I hope everyone is safe.

I hope everyone is cautious.

I hope everyone is showing the humane and compassion necessary for all of us to survive through this unprecedented time.

For me, a lot has changed. Instead of going to classes everyday, our lectures and our required learning assignments are all online. It is difficult to truly understand what is going on and really interact with the material but it is also important to understand why social distancing is currently occurring and why it is more important than anything else that is going on in our lives.

My mom has currently been asking me if I truly wanted to keep going with this degree. All the uncertainty can be quite terrifying and seeing the personal sacrifices that each medical professional as well as other professionals have had to give up has been quite daunting.

But during these dark times, it has also shown me the good in humanity. It has shown me how when people come together to protect those that society has deemed as minimal, we can really make change.

It is incredible to see the acts of kindness that strangers have offered other strangers. It has been beautiful to see the astounding decrease in pollution.

I hope that through this turmoil, we learn and grow.

A promise to myself

It is 2/2/20.

Tomorrow is the start of our 2nd year.

2 is my lucky number.

So this year, I will make it my year. I will try harder and push myself harder.

I know my goals and I know what I want in life so I just have to go and get it.

Wish me luck xx

Setting Intentions 2020

I think setting intentions is such a critical part to the start of each year. This year, it is extra important considering it will be my intentions for the next decade so here are just a few of them. They’re from me for me, shared with you. 💫

1. Be kind. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Be kind to those you love. Be kind to those you hate. Especially those you hate. 
2. It’s okay to not be 100% all the time. The anxiety and the sleepless nights are not worth it. You will get where you need to go and an extra day will not even register in the next decade. You are more important than anything else. 
3. Be happy with what you have. Your life is different from everyone else’s so to compare you to anyone, even a twin, would be like comparing the sun to another star.  We are all centers of our own universes, for better or worse. 
4. Money is not a big factor. It comes and goes. But the experiences that you make and the memories that you build will last forever. So spend that extra $$ to go on that spontaneous trip with your friends or family because nothing and I do mean NOTHING can be as worth it. 
5. In the same vein, travel the world. Don’t get complacent because you think you have seen so much of the world. That’s a lie. There is always more to see and to see more is to experience more and learn more. And for me, that’s life. 
6. Learn from others. When you compare yourself to someone else then you are intimidated and you close yourself off to all the opportunities that other people can give you. They can teach you about life and love and even academics in ways that you will never be able to do on your own.
7. Negativity kills creativity. It kills us slowly. It is a rotting corpse that hangs in your closet, waiting to be exposed. It tells you that you are not worth it and that you are an imposter. None of that is true. You are worth it. You are where you belong. You have put in the work so be cocky and be proud of yourself because at least then you won’t drag yourself down. 
8. But it’s okay to be sad and have so called negative emotions sometimes. It’s okay to be angry and to be sad and to be jealous. Let yourself be okay with experiencing these emotions because they will come and go. Just don’t let them take up room in your mind or life. They are visitors not dwellers. 
9. Know what you want. This list is what I want, yes. But I also what a lot of material things. I want a house that I love. I want to own a car. I want to be able to adopt fur babies. Those are not shallow. As long as what you want harms no one else and you have intentions set for yourself not others then there is nothing wrong with that. 
10. Let go. Let go of all that was “bad” in the last decade and let us start anew. 

The photo above was a photo I took at the start of 2019 on a plane. It is on fire. Very similar to how Australia, my current home, is on fire. This is a reminder to myself that fire renews us all but is also a devastating natural disaster. Let us learn from the old and appreciate the adversity we are put in but also move on so this never occurs again. 

Winter Break - Time to break up with my old self

Last year was one of the most trying years of my life. 2019 did not treat me well. While my undergraduate degree was tough, I felt like I could always see my way out and I continued to excel. Medical school was not the same. It felt like a tsunami hurling towards me while I doggypaddled my way out. In my personal life, my family dynamics changed significantly. With a death in the family, one family tree was cut off at its roots. On top, a divorce occurred in the family that just felt like bird poop landing directly on me as if a bird targeted me and hit bull's eye.

2019 was also a time of immense change for me. I moved halfway across the world to pursue a degree in a different education system. I moved in with my partner and experienced all the growing pains that a relationship goes through during that transition. I made new friends and some not so good friends. I learned to love but also to let go. I learned to be happy but also appreciate my sadness.

Growing up. That's what it felt like. And it was tough.

But, the good news is that we only have a handful of days left before the start of a new decade. It feels like I have been forged in this fire and reached my tipping point before doused into the cooling water of a new year. I am excited for what this could bring for me.

I am grateful for the end of this year where I am surrounded by love and given room and time to recover. I am grateful for all that I have learned and all that I have absorbed in the past 10 years. But now it's time to let go of this old shell of myself and shed this skin. It's time for me to approach 2020 with a new mindset and find my own happiness.

1 Week Out

 One week out...

7 days since my last class.

It has been absolutely wonderful. I have no schedules, no rules. I am free, at least for the time being before I have to start considering USMLE.

Being in such an intensive program can really create and solidify the bonds you create with your classmates but stepping out of the med bubble can also be so important for your own sanity.

While we wait for our results for first year and confirmation that we will continue onto second year, it’s so important to remember that I am more than a number. I contain multitudes that cannot be quantified or qualified.

Anyways, sorry for the incoherent rant but it has been a wonderful albeit weird time for me.

Talk more soon xx

The Last Stretch: 2 Weeks Left

There are two weeks left until the first year of medical school is done. That means two more exams until I am 1/4 an official MD.

Unfortunately, there are two exams left and my motivation has plummeted so much I would be at E on the fuel gauge if I was a car.

This is what I have to look forward to...

The last RSA consists of all 5 blocks we have learned this year (Foundations, Musculoskeletal, Respiratory, Hematology, and Cardiology). It will be approximately 5 hours long and consists of two papers.

The last Anatomy exam will consist of anatomy and histology from the last 3 blocks.

Mostly, my aim is to pass so pray for me. xx

Pathology Intercept

Breaking news-- I just finished my pathology exam.

Now, I am not a person that loves pathology and am definitely not willing to specialize in it. However, I thoroughly enjoyed the exam as it was easy and straightforward. The exam itself had 6 sections with one macro or micro slide for each station and questions pertaining to the pathology of the disease. It really helped solidify disease states that we have learned from previous blocks and I think was a really good review.

So overall, my quick review of the pathology exam is good good.